Chinese courtesies have always been formal to follow
strict rules, although sometimes Chinese people seem
to be impolite according to Western norms in public
places.
To well understand Chinese, some concepts should not
be ignored:
Mianzi (Face)
The idea of shame, usually expressed as 'face' could
be loosely defined as the 'status' or 'self-respect'
in Chinese and by no means alien to foreigners. It
is the worst thing for a Chinese to lose face. Never
insult, embarrass, shame, yell at or otherwise demean
a person. Since all these actions would risk putting
a Chinese in a situation that he might lose face.
Neither try to prove someone wrong nor shout at him
in public. In order to get a successful effect without
letting a Chinese lose face, any criticism should
be delivered privately, discreetly and tactfully,
or else, just opposite to what you wish.
Guanxi (Relationships between People)
Throughout much of Chinese history, the fundamental
glue that has held society together is the concept
of guanxi, relationships between people. It is very
important for the Chinese to have good relationships.
They often regard good social relations as a symbol
of personal ability and influence. Someone who has
no connections would be despised and is only half-Chinese.
Keqi
Keqi not only means considerate, polite, and well
mannered, but also represents humbleness and modesty.
It is impolite to be arrogant and brag about oneself
or one's inner circle. The expression is most often
used in the negative, as in buyao keqi, meaning "you
shouldn't be so kind and polite to me," or "you're
welcome."
Besides, Chinese seldom express what they think directly
and they prefer a roundabout way. Neither show their
emotions and feelings in public. They rarely greet
people with a handshake, though it is very popular
among foreigners, say nothing of embracing or kissing
when greeting or saying good-bye. Consequently, it
is better not to behave too carefree in public, even
though you are well-intentioned. Also, it is advisable
to be fairly cautious in political discussions. Do
not particularly push yourself forward, or else you
are unwelcome.
To sum up, do in Rome as Rome does, but you need
not worry about these cultural barriers since most
Chinese are hospitable and amiable and will not mind
your nonproficiency.
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